A curry recipe

And other things I meant to tell you

Hi everyone!

Since we last talked, Alexis and Nico got married, Brittany and Kevin got engaged, I moved out of my beloved six person house and moved back to San Antonio to start a new job. As you can imagine, a lot is on my mind. If you’ll humor me, I’d like to tell you about the curry I made for dinner tonight.

I was spoiled with my access to good Thai food in Mississippi. I cannot tell you how many times in my life I’ve said “yellow curry medium with tofu…” but I can tell you it’s enough times that I stopped needing to say it at two *different* establishments in the Magnolia State. It’s one of those foods that makes me feel whole inside and out. I was devastated, then, when I kept trying curries from different restaurants in Memphis and they kept being terrible. This led me to a lot of experimentation in the kitchen.

I told all this to my dad’s friend from high school, Ben. He lives a few blocks away from my parents, and he was helping fix my brother’s car in the driveway. We swapped curry tips that have never worked out for us in the spirit of “you never know, maybe in a different pan it does the trick!” and ended with Well, if you ever want to borrow our fish sauce, you know where we live.

I declined the fish sauce because it hadn’t saved me before, and because I got the curry paste (wouldn’t recommend) that you can get at the standard western grocery store (would recommend) two blocks from the house.

I sat my broccoli, carrots, onion, garlic, coconut milk, and jar of paste on the counter right next to my parents’ wedding album. I need you to believe me when I say that this was the first time I had ever seen those photos in my life. My parents’ wedding was gorgeous, held on a ranch in Kendall County full of people who I know 30 years later. And there he was again! Ben, my dad’s friend from high school who was in the front yard working on the car. Ben, my dad’s friend from high school who was the best man at his wedding.

I ran the book out front. He had never seen it either.

Here is how I made the curry, also known as the RECIPE.

1. Dice most of an onion, half of a red pepper, and garlic. Cook in olive oil on medium with salt.

2. Realize that the curry paste I bought was actually chili paste. Completely not the same. Proceed to dig through my parents’ spices for anything that might be useful. They don’t really cook, but there are plenty of once-or-twice-used spice canisters, probably from my sisters visiting and using the kitchen.

3. Add copious amounts of onion powder, garlic powder, two different brands of curry powder (one was labeled hot but was not discernably hot), ginger, turmeric, and cardamom. Pretty good given the circumstances. Add the unintentionally purchased chili paste and practice gratitude for what it brings to the dish.

4. Let all that get cozy in the pan. This needs to sit for a while on its own.

5. In the meantime, set some water to boil. We’re steaming the vegetables (broccoli, carrot, potato).

6. Back to the pan once it’s ready, add one can of Thai Kitchen coconut cream (this is what I bought at the store) and one can of 365 coconut cream (this is what was in my parents’ pantry, I thought one would be enough but I needed a second). The brand actually does matter. I prefer the consistency of 365’s coconut cream. Thai Kitchen’s is good but is literally five dollars. Stay AWAY from the Trader Joe’s one. Their coconut cream will ruin everything you cook for real.

7. Add way more of the spices and chili paste. Also add the juice from two limes. Keep adding and adjusting this along the way.

8. Here’s the kicker. Add the fish sauce that my dad picked up from Ben’s house! The fish sauce did save the day!

9. Cut the leftover onion and red pepper into slivers. Toss those into the pan with the curry sauce to cook.

10. Eventually combine the steamed veggies. I was going to add tofu but decided against it because my sauce-to-veg ratio was already cutting it close.

11. Let all of that simmer together while I cook the rice, which I should have started earlier but unfortunately forgot. Fortunately, actually, because it made me leave everything to simmer for an extra 20 minutes.

It doesn’t look like much, but it’s the best curry I’ve made so far. There was never a missing ingredient. I just needed to give it time.

Like I said above, I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few weeks. One day I’m reading a poem at one wedding and then suddenly my sister is planning another. I see my parents’ wedding pictures for the first time alongside my dad’s best man on the day his father passed away. Life shrinks and expands and simmers and all we can do is let it.

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Related Things I Meant to Tell You: During my last week in the Peabody house, Jessie gave me a gorgeous tattoo based on a sketch from before she was a tattoo artist. This was after we biked the Natchez trace from Nashville to Tupelo, but before I dyed my hair from pink to red. The state nicknames Sporcle is so good. I’m writing these notes as I go (as if they were footnotes, but I didn’t want footnotes interrupting this, you know?) and this story is starting to feel like a video game quest. I can’t wait for this video game about producing a reality tv show to come out. In case you didn’t know the lore there is a real Kendall County which I am named after because my parents got married there. The poem I read at Alexis and Nico’s wedding was Wild Geese and I am deeply honored they trusted me to do that. I don’t mean to share my dad’s friend’s business on my blog but my mom did tell me his father passed away earlier today. There was another groomsman in the photos, also named Ben, who passed away years ago - you’ve heard me plug this mug that his wife made with his old designs. I really love it.

P.S. I would love to hear if you have a yellow curry of your own 🫶